Notes in this here times. (Part 2)

Let us remember a few things here; while all you are safe in the relativecushy comfort of your homes and cushy jobs.....

The vast numbers arrested past and present under the ISA. Those who dare totell the truth and paid for it dearly in incarceration and torture. People such as Raja Petra Kamaruddin and the Hindraf 5. These were the people that would like us could have watched the shit unfold and remain silent overthe issues that clearly shows the abject rot in this so-called 'harmonious' nation
and the men that claims to be our leaders. They, with all their power and conceit, silenced those voices of conscience. Sure... another topic well avoided for the public peace and investors. But it's basically serves to dig their graves ever so deep. To actually fall from grace will be the death will kill them us all.

To actually say we're better of talking about things in this country is no better like a wife who stands an abusive marriage. To let BN just get away with bloody murder would no better be an abject act of complicity. No better than the Germans with the atrocity of World War 2 and the Holocaust. A man may be put behind bars for the truth; that a whole lot better than the rest of the population losing their rights and lives to the ever racist political machine.

All this talk of the component parties of BN 'reforming' and 'reevaluating their priority' has reccently been shown as cosmetic and mere lip service. Trust MCA to get in dubious individuals like Chua Soi Lek. Never mind what he does with his privates in his spare time, but mere fact that he plays to the tune of generic Malaysian practice of corruption ( a friend of mine says that to most people in Johor, its common knowledge to where he gets his extra income)is one thing not even a fool like me could possibly ignore. Do seriously we, the Malaysian Rakyat, would take you seriously?

A Bullet By Your Window

Would it brazen for me to say,
The dreams of the greater good of His Kingdom,
These things you say is dangerous and mad?
These blasphemies that contradict
to the vacancy of your empty traditions.

Would it be insanity if I stood up and speak,
The open rejection of the oppressors that be,
The truth that deems me to be a criminal of the state?
The truth so blotted out by their culture of idle leisure?

Would it be suicide if I were throw away the good life,
a luxury at the expense of the million innocents,
subdivided because of race and creed and class,
all this for it was never the will of God and Christ?



For to you I am a fool and a dreamer,
But to the silence that rings in your hearts,
lies the heartbeat of the greater good wishing to react.

Memoirs of A Pending Factory Intern

I actually consider this to be the time actually bloomed in terms of my professional skills. Not only in making dinky little artwork for thegentrified classes but also in terms of office politics and the general nature of humanity itself. School isn't as same as work, where you pretty had a safety net to muck around with. I know a few of my classmates Lim Kok Wingthat actually knew the brutality of the corporate world. I had actually went there with expectations that I might understand the mind of the Corprate Man. Instead all whatever biases is confirmed. The fact that an alarming majority arevain-glorious imbeciles with zero empathy to masses. Funny... I figured theycorporate elements with the rakyat. For they are the people that just might be
the ones needed to do the job swiftly.

But this is not the case. I've personally seen for myself the bad apples of corporate sector act out their insecurities by overworking the staff with indecisive demands only to personally insult them for 'shoddy workman ship' while it was their retarded indecisiveness in the mental faculty which brought upon delays and made a wonderful rushed job of it.

I did actually made sketches after sketches for approval, only to have changes after changes right to the 11th hour. I remembered being extremely worried to the point I no appetite for breakfast. We did finish it in time. But the charming person in charge of this project had the audacity to bleat out his dissatisfaction. He asked which of us designed this. My colleague shifted the 'blame' to one of my Bangladeshi co-workers. He proceeded to make the most snarkiest of coming regarding shoddy workman ship, not realising the whole lot of us, including the Bangladeshi, put our all in this.

My Bangladeshi co-worker just smiled broadly and nodded. If he actually knew what that twat said he would have decked him on the spot. I know... for I was really change in the actual construction.

I still feel bad that the blame was shifted to the Bangladeshi. My colleague was doing this to protect a newbie like me. Still I really felt the sting of the insult. More appropriately the workshop staff has the right to take absolute offense. Almost all of my mates there took the time to help me out. To them, it was just a plain gesture of helping out a friend. I was simply an over-educated middle class goof that was still learning the ropes. But still, those guys simply saw me as a friend in need.

I still think of think those blokes who are still there; working their asses all for respectable salary of only RM 500 a month. I certainly did have to worry because I was very much well off in my middle class cloud nine. But to them it is just a matter a challenge bringing home the bread to the table; which would also mean taking an extra jobs.

Even more ironic was the fact that my employers were all getting plum contract from the pillars of Kuching society. By right they should be getting a handsome sum out of this. But still this case of obvious exploitation. There was even a time that they even worked overtime to install a rather austentatious looking piece of garbage which turned to be a gift to Old White Beard himself. Imagine how much work they had to do, sandblasting a piece of imported crystal, instaling pieces were made of expensive metals. By right every one of them should get a commission out of this. So far, I've heard nothing of this sort.

But whatever the case, still there was a nagging insecurity in my employer's heads that they do not have enough money; the abject poverty mentality that mirrors the dementia a chronic anorexic that still thinks she's overweight. Thus giving a sorry justification to be tightfisted with the money. Perhaps this is the symptom of the typical Asian capitalist.

In the midst of this we all had good times. We'd have tea breaks at around 3pm.;Feasting on the food and drinks brought by a kindly old man. I was actually told he used to have a van but somehow was screwed over to sell it off. He was also a proud member of Amway, perhaps hoping one day he'd just might earn enough from them to get a new working van. For the time being he was using a bicycle which was stacked to overkill with all his good. There were times I'd see him
at the traffic ridden roads of Pending just braving the sun and rain.

A my colleague actually asked his friend from Amway why his company is not helping members like him. I guess he could not get a satisfactory answer from him. I would naively assume that that in the mad rush to get rich, fellow members like the old man are left in the dark, for he does not fit the successful image the to be profiled in their monthly digests. It is funny that society in general talks about the winners as if they are a breed of perfect supermen, while all the while treating the weak and short-changed as 'social problems' and 'degenerate boogey-men' not worthy of charity and love. We seem to forget even God makes the most out of the losers and drop-outs. Tis a nature of man of self-rightiousness: We seen always content to look down on the weak and the fallen while knowing damned well we too are capable of doing the same. Perhaps in their eyes we see ouselves in the midst.

Notes in this here times.

Well, it's big news of the week. Good ole' Boy Najib dreams of being Prime Minister
seems to be nearer than before. Come March 2009, Dollah will step down, leaving
Najib being named the next PM.

Probably a good time to get worried. Ha.

My summary of Najib is far from rosy. Taking into consideration to his tendency for racial supremacism, plus his possible complicity in the Altantuya case (not to mention word of his hand in RPK's arrest.) it is really sad for me to conclude that Najib, like Mahathir before him, is a good as typical fascist leader having no qualms in silencing the opposition voices who are more than often just doing their duty of being concerned citizens.

Fascism in our doorstep? You all might disagree. But if you were to be observant to how the country has been run the past few decades, I don't think you have any reason to say otherwise.
It's funny that even my indigenous race brothers even get the rawest of deals, despite being politely classed as 'bumiputera'.

The system obviously has a cancer. The cancer is called racism. To call ourselves multiracial is plain out hypocrisy and a lame joke. Even America, for it's gaping divide between the Caucasians and those of African descent, could be considered a lot more progressive in slowly accepting that it has a problem.

The first step to recovery is accepting you have a problem. Our leaders, Najib especially, need to realize that. Racism, since the days of the British, was clearly the structure that seemed to hold the structure. The were really devious in their admistrative layout; planting seeds of fear and defeatism in the sweet and clever guise of being nurturing. All this an irony in their high society parties where the only presence Malays, Chinese, Indian and indigenous had were plainly as objects of curiosity and snarky parlor jokes.

Even more so in this times. Our parents would silently whisper racist innuendos about their neighbours, while in the same time hang with them flashing the most fake of smiles. Don't tell me you are not guilty of that. I did my share of racist jokes before ultimately learning recently
I'm just as equally blessed as everyone in this here country; let alone this whole rock we call earth.

Why do we fear and loath each other?

Is it because of arrogance of being in th right path?

Or the fruits of the worm-like hated of our own selves...

...all this a pathetic search for a scapegoat to justify our failures as humans?

I'm back, kids!

First up, to all that bother tuning in, I'd like to apologize for my
long absence of leave. A lot of things happened in this past two months: School,
Fucked Up Drama, Assignments la la la la Bada Bing Bada Boom. Well... it's not
worth harping under the sky about the sheer amount of shit piled up by reality.
But God does loves us much to turn all the crap into things that actually build you.
I actually find absolute truth in this saying: What doesn't kill you makes you stronger.
It aslos worth nothing to know that I believe in a God and Savior that has took the fall of the
stupid mistakes that I make. That's just enough grace to inspire a mere fuck-up like me
to just walk in His peace and overflow with the Love. Too super-spiritual for ya? Never mind.
All I know is.. he justs makes me glad to be alive.

The recent spate of arrests by the BN fascists does nothing but serve to dig their grave even
further. Even more frustrating is people's over expectant anticipation for high drama on Sept
16th. Yeah, It does do them a bit of discredit, but all in the process of waiting for the right moment to strike. It takes a sheer character of wit and wisdom like Anwar to actually wait
for the right moment to reveal his new opposition cabinet. The enemy wants high drama to
show it's overblown testicullar fortitude to us, the rakyat. hence, the quasi-Gestapo like tactics.
They are just plainly just jumping like monkeys handling a hot piece of cucur pisang. But clearly they are going down.

I actially had the privallage of meeting my friend Jack and his fiancee yesterday for Hari Raya. We generally has a nice talk on esoteric philosophy and made weird jokes. Seriously, Jack has fianlly met the right girl for him. I cannot seriously understand why some people I know bitch and moan the fact that Jack is getting hitched the girl he loves, who just so happens to be Malay, Sure... some of them meet the textbook stereotypes. But personally these people count to be my good friend, one owhich helped me carry my school bag when I was just recovering from my appendics surgery.

Anyways, I leave you all with double whammy poem about this whack times:

1. (a brief note of remembrance)

For I came in with the best expectations,
But here I was in my pool of blood,
The bullets of rejection had done cutting me up,
Was I the victim of my actions?
Or just another number left to dry?

For it was love I had seek all this while,
the slap in the face was the seal of it all.
You could have done me a favor
by sending me to hell,
At least you had mercy...
the best conceit of hypocrisy,
To have let me live to rot
in your accusations and empty guilt.

But what was the motives?

What were the causes?

For was I the examining of social standing
that determined my selection?
To be worth as company so cool, so exotic,
How much substance to be sucked dry
by your pop-culture whoring,
When all the while declaring
you're nothing new under the sun!

For there was nothing more to say,
But the empty futility of your hipster fucking,
Yet I am glad I'm on the outside,
For the depravity of your parties
boasts your emptiness that's big,
Your charms shall fade away the night,
The aftertaste of cigarettes and wine
your prison gruel now,
Thank God I was safe from the whole lot of you.

2. (A Testimonial of Blood & Thunder)

For what can the epitome of MTV-cool
could do to save this country?
The saccharine drugging of the youth
to the emptiness of hypocrisy,
Our leaders take take and take,
The slow cancer of the death of Malaysia,
The innocents die as they are strangled
in slumber.

For you try to shut us up for telling the truth,
The force of your fascism compensating
for marvelous impotence,
A standing ovation for the indifferent classes
for grinding our bones for their tea-time milk.

For are you that damned blind
to think is as good as before?
The easiness of childhood days
that warms the hearts,
The summertime bliss and joy
amidst the silent rot this nefarious color game?

For your silence leaves the gap,
the knives of elected murderers that now
line by our beds,
Wake up, now!
For life is too short to be a dead sea!

For gaze up they sky now, brothers and sisters!
The sun burns ever brighter in His glory now!
For we who believe shall have the change,
What power can these fascists have
against the hand of His grace?
Sick are we of these politics that be!
Sick are we of the lies that justify this oppression!
Like the rising crests of waves
the silence seems almost deafening,
The growing power against all adversity and pain,
Oh, big brother fascist! Your days are indeed,

Sure signs of BN's miserable desperation

Try if they want. But they could not stop this ball from rolling. It was proven to us on March 8th that the public has had it up to here with corruption and racism that is prevalent in the culture of Barisan Nasional politics. This is enough for these crooks (together with the police, those criminals in uniforms) to go up in arms in what they perceived as the day of reckoning for all their blood in their hands. They have been talk after the election for BN to go 'find their roots', to learn from whatever mistakes so to speak. But it's really bloody clear to us all that they are still tied to their habitual dirt mongering, just get their points across.

It would be really fair to say that they only do this to dig their own graves. Public opinion has been in all time low and the police force has the gall to actually arrest Anwar without a warrant. Nat Tan had said that is was ploy for the coppers to tell the goverment that they (the govt.) are not to bring the police down with them once the shit hits the fan. Pretty much going to a defensive survivalist mode I must say, but in reality THEY ARE GOING DOWN. With all their focus going to investegating the alleged 'sodomy' case, little has been said about the progress of solving who kidnapped Sharlienie (refer to the link on my last article). Talk about a gross case of priortisng... no wonder we all don't look to our policemen very highly.

Do not take this that I'm a hater of all the boys in blue. They are good people eere and the goverment it's really hard to make real positive progress. And it's about high time we say "Ënough is enough!". We are not take the abuse of power at the expense of us rakyat anymore!

Dubious allegations in Anwar's sodomy trial.

RPK hits it spots on stating that it was as if UMNO was mirroring the CIA in trying to sabotage Anwar and him. THe whole thing is a case of smoke and mirrors, the degree of conspiracy and deceit that even Survivor would be very proud of. The weird part that peaked my interest was Pete's mention of the setting up of the special police operations center before the alleged sodomy case took place. Dubious isn't it. It's as if they were really psychic there and then to see it coming. Even more intriging is the fact that the special police operations took place the office of a Shafee Abdulah, a UMNO legal hatchet mannoted for fixing trials involving the people implcated in the Altantya case. TO the faint hearted it's really sickening to know that the judiciary sytem is athte mercy of the unscrupilous higher-ups bent on concealing their guilt.

It's all in the goal from preventing the tsunami of change fast rising to wash all the corruption that BN has built. It's really understandable; for in their own sense of condemantion they try to hit out faster and meaner than before. At what cost, I ask? Athte expese of the rakyat? At the emotional toll of their own family members who probably (if thats the case) in the dark about all the injustices that their loved one has commited in power. Corruption, no matter how big or small dooms the best of all ideas and dreams. It is a cycle that comes back at one with an unspeakable vengence. Definetely they are no one spared in this. Not one.

Sordid details of our leaders value system. How low can they go to protect their interests.

Bad police priortising at the expense of young lives (in the expense of criminal perverts)

Btw, kudos to Captian Zahar for spilling the beans in the first link. THis vry much goes to show that for all the dubiousness in this world, there are good people that actually have integrity and values which is fast becoming a dying thing in modern society. Sure... we may lump people of dirrent race, creed or party affiliation in stereotypical character profiles just make thing easy for our own personal clasification. But the truth is... it's really far from the truth. They are people , regardless from Pakatan or BN who are actually sincere in making a diffrence in their communities. The only thing that totally fucks it up is the sheer abject abundance of personal politcics that in the end turns most into the hardest of cynics and survivalist manipulators.

It's really sad considering that even Pak Lah himself gets himself in the rut at the expese of his own party's code of ethics.Perhaps it's growing insecurity that he and his party is numbered. Destined to be on the voter chopping block. You can not blame the rakyat being so exasperated with BN. 50 years after merdeka it's still the same with the the racial and economic divide. This is very much coupled with the growing revelations of corruption (does any remeber VK Lingam, anybody?) which only serves to twist the knife even further.

Yeah. Times are really getting dire. It's really depressing if you really think of it. But lest you are. Here's a poem for you to consider:

And I am still despite the violence of the storm,
Our leaders take the newest low at the expense of us,
the world burns aflame in its destruction.
Still I am calm, in the very sanctity of peace that is You.

For what can the corrupt do to dispense their own justice,
like blooming flowers the just rise to bring them down,
For out of the mouth of babes comes the revelation,
the Word, The Truth, the Grace, The Ultimate Bullet.
Broken are the hardest of hearts,
Crumbed are the barricades of color and hate,
We are now saved from the foolishness of self.
We are all saved so we may all live again!

Again, do keep our freedom fighters in your prayers, especially for the coming by-elections. May
evil and corruption be stopped in their tracks! May rightious and just prevail always!