Pre Lunar New Year Spiel

listening : Citizen Fish - Active Ingredients LP
mood : relieved

A few more weeks to go to Chinese Lunar New Year. I still like the firecrackers... enough festive pyrotechnics to make Kuching sound like downtown Baghdad. Still, there enough wanton commercialization and politics that has made me a tad cynical towards this. It's still a great day though...but just don't expect me to go 'pantang' and shit.

As we are speaking now, my mom and dad are in the process of cleaning up the house. My aunt is as usual is making infantile demands; all this due to her Alzheimer's disease. Basically I'm still learning to be a lot more understanding towards her. But yeah, there were times i just totally lost it. Oh well... a blessed work in progress I suppose.

Here's some stuff that I did just two nights ago:

Was actually listening to Bush's Greedy Fly when I was working on this piece. Gavin Rossdale's have since been fronting a band called Institute. I don't know whats the status of his project these days, considering most post-breakup bands never seem to outlive their previous outfit's potential. There exceptions though; Mars Volta (from At The Drive In), Led Zeppelin ( from the Yardbirds) and Foo Fighters (from, of course, Nirvana). It would seem they have either made a name for themselves or just simply overshadowed their predecessor in terms of legacy.

I was actually thinking more about the politics of the punk movement. I really dig what guys like Jello Biafra and Ian Mackaye are doing. They have really taken punk rock from being an exercise in Malcolm McLaren's armchair cynicism to a progressive movement dedicated to destroying the hypocrisy of the government and religion. But there are times I am very wary of the self -righteous elements of the movement totally blowing all that is good of this movement. Their critical attitudes towards bands that supposedly sold out is no better than the legalistic elements of Christianity who condemn just because they themselves are insecure of their own fallacies. This is not just punk rock i am talking about. Every popular culture sub-genre ( be it rock, heavy metal or hip hop)has their inbred class of 'religious zealots' that thing highly of themselves. Whatever they cannot understand, they feel obligated to subjugate and criticize, while all the while not knowing they don't know they are steadily becoming the autocratic pigs that they were led to hate.

This is the symptom of humanity.

We hate because we have the innate instinct of fear. That fear rooted of a deep condemnation of being nothing. Take away the money and hipness and here we are naked with all our sins and flaws. We dare to stomp on other people because we need to make ourselves feel better. To make ourselves of authority and class. I guess most of you people are feeling dammed offended if I say this...but it's true. What else can you account people like Hitler and Jeffrey Dahmer committing their heinous deeds. The universal feeling of fear and loathing in all of us. The fact that for all our achievements, humanity is nothing more but a species of posturing monkeys.

But for all this, I am happy I am nothing. Because in Christ I am actually something. You can say I use 'religion' as a crutch to my pointless existence. But here's the catch, dude.... the real Christianity was never a religion in the first place. It is a walk with a God that cares very much in all your affairs, be it trivial or profound.

To tell you bluntly to all of you... I would have been dead if it wasn't for Jesus. It's funny that one point I was like you refusing Christ like the embittered atheist would have done. But to think that He does not answer in moments of severe desperation .... that never the case! He hears, man. He heard me a long time ago when I was in trouble. I tell you, dude....never in my wildest dreams I'd dream to be where I am now.